Pulled away

30 Nov

I was thinking about balance when I wrote here. I could think of no eloquent way to say that balance is… not balance. Balance is not balancing. That is, it’s not halvsies, even-steven, or fair at all, at least when it comes to work-life balance. And it’s not even as simple as work-life balance because it’s really work-baby-marriage-house-values balance and it’s not even that simple.

When you ride a bike and there’s wind coming at you, you have to adjust to stay balanced. (But even just staying atop a bike is to find a space where you are pulled equally from either side, but  not pulled at all.)

If you’re short fifty bucks to pay the electrical bill, you can’t just take twenty-five each from the phone bill and the water budgets and call it balanced.

It has to come from somewhere and this site is where it came from this time, for me.

Maybe we can start a trend where we call it proportion instead of balance?

A lot has been going on here and just keeping up with daily life gets to be a challenge. My husband was gone 50% of the work days this year. He was gone 30% of all the days. Sometimes I have to be 1.5 parents (but he’s still 1 whole parent even when he’s gone) and I still feel like maybe I get to about 75% of the parent I’d like to be. Labor Day marked the start of a busy time at work that happens every year, but this year I just felt more overwhelmed by it than ever, so I felt like about 75% of an employee as well. And then I spent a lot of time in conflict with myself about living my values. That put me in a funk. I’m still not over that.

I hope to be back with more interviews. I realized my interviews can be really intense and long, so I’m working on a list of a basic five questions so more women can be featured here. What would you ask?

 

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    I’m happy to see you back. And I can relate, more than you know, aside from the husband who travels- that is truly difficult and I’m impressed you deal with it as gracefully as you do. Today was a crazy work day capped off with two kids sent home from school with head lice (for at least a few days, maybe) and I seriously started crying thinking about how to keep them entertained at home this week while I attempt to tackle a million work projects. It’s a constant juggling act that I feel like I’m often failing at.

    Anyway, hugs to you and some commiseration (and oversharing!) from CA…

  2. Amanda November 30, 2011 at 2:08 pm #

    Head lice?! OMG, I’m so sorry. I have a card up in my office that says “everything will be okay in the end. if it’s not okay, it’s not the end.” It will be OK! This job is crazy in the fall and even when I am prepared, it’s still like running a marathon that lasts from Labor Day until January.

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